Tasting something is the only reliable way to determine its flavor, and the human penis is no exception. However, taste is a subjective experience that can be difficult to describe accurately. Since most people do not consider the dick to be food, it can be challenging to compare its taste to familiar flavors. This limits our ability to describe its taste accurately.

Or can we?

I searched various forums and reflected on my own experiences to draw one primary conclusion: A clean dick tastes like avocado. In 2019, the comparison even became a meme.

Insanely Good Recipes describes the taste of avocado as “very subtle… earthy, grassy and nutty but fresh. Some people even describe it as buttery.” When it comes to the taste of the dick, a subtle and fresh assessment is most accurate. If the wiener is clean like it has just been washed, there might be a hint of soap flavor, but it’s still mild, and you have to search for any discernible flavor notes. However, it doesn’t have any saltiness that comes from sweat, but a bit of natural skin-based umami still comes through. If you wash and lick any part of your skin, the taste won’t be all that different.

Bretman Rock, a Filipino influencer, once discussed whether avocados taste like clean dick or if clean dick tastes like avocado. He claimed that store-bought avocados taste more like a clean dick, while the avocados that grow on his property have a buttery flavor. On the other hand, adult model Lucy Everleigh believes that clean dick tastes like unripe avocado.

But what about unclean cock?

Body odor can vary from person to person due to the unique bacteria that we all carry. Additionally, our lifestyle habits can also contribute to our body odor. As dicks are usually concealed in underwear and pants, they tend to sweat more than other parts of the body, leading to a buildup of odor. In summary, the taste of avocado can dissipate quickly.

It’s commonly believed that a lightly sweaty peen tastes a little salty, much like skin. However, dick flavor can manifest in different ways. Ideally, a dick should taste like nothing or skin. In the worst-case scenario, it might taste like something impossible to put into words.

A 2016 article from the Thought Catalog documented 24 people’s attempts to describe what dick tastes like, and many of the responses were unpleasant, including flavors like cheese, mushrooms, salty coins in milk, and dirty laundry. If there’s urine residue on the dick, it can taste like the way a urinal smells.

I hope and pray this blog's readers have had better experiences. Schlong doesn’t have to taste like much of anything, after all — unlike cum, it has no inherent flavor. If, for some reason, you’re worried about your taste, you should take some comfort in the fact that a good shower can wash away all your sins. And if it’s been a few hours since your last one and someone is about to taste it themselves, they’ll probably only get a hint of salt.

But really, there’s only one way to know what dick tastes like, and that’s to try it for yourself. Find a willing donor and pop one in your mouth. Savor it and do a taste test for yourself.

Or buy some avocados and use your imagination.